Bad movies: antidote to LJ neglect

This entry brought to you by Men at Work.

Speaking of work...nah, I'll get to that later. First, my favorites of the Bulwer-Lytton contest. From 2005:

India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.

Ken Aclin
Shreveport, LA

From 2004, Dishonorable Mention from the Children's category:

As he entered the room within which so many a wild night of their sweltering love affair had been spent, the White Rabbit regarded her with benevolent eyes, her posture such that he suspected something was wrong, but before he could speak Alice unburied her face from her trembling hands and between her intense sobs he made out the words, "I'm late . . . I'm late."

Cory Gano
Camas, WA

From 2003, winner in the Vile Pun category:

The Insect Keeper General, sitting astride his giant hovering aphid, surveyed the battlefield which reeked with the stench of decay and resonated with the low drone of the tattered and dying mutant swarms as their legs kicked forlornly at the sky before turning to his master and saying, "My Lord, your flies are undone."

Andrew Vincent
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, England

Second, books.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Depressing is the word for this one. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but "cheerful" was the last thing on my mind. Rowling does a good job with the twist(s), and I'm looking forward to seeing how she wraps things up.

V for Vendetta - Part of my new graphic novel kick. A story about the healing power of anarchy and high explosives in a post-apocalyptic, totalitarian England. sabine791110, this one's for you.

Guards! Guards! - Thanks for this book (and the next) go to exlibris11235, who gave me the gift of Discworld on my birthday. This is, I suppose, a sort of murder mystery. In Terry Pratchett's hands, though, it becomes...odd. Mom, you might get a kick out of this (and the next one, too). "'A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch because someone's taken a book? You think that's worse than murder?' The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like, 'What's so bad about genocide?'"

Men at Arms - Again, a sort of murder mystery, this time with my favorite character a bit more developed. I mean, what's not to like about a six-foot, four-inch dwarf? Or, as Pratchett says: "People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, 'Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.'"

The Last Continent - Discworld on loan from exlibris11235. I appreciated Pratchett's take on a creator's fondness for beetles.

The Wee Free Men - Discworld loaned by sabine791110. Drunken, thieving, belligerent Scottish Smurfs team up with a girl who uses her baby brother for bait. Well, it's not as if the little brat didn't deserve it, and she did bash the monster with a frying pan.

A Hat Full of Sky - Sequel to the above. My favorite thing about these two books is/are the Feegle (smurfs). "Crivens! I kicked meself in me own heid!"

1776 - This is a great read. I've also started McCullough's biography of John Adams, and it would appear that those Pulitzer thingies aren't just handed out randomly.

Finally, a question for mom: I recall telling you that the collected writings and speeches of Lincoln was on my wish list. I don't want two copies, but saw it in the book store today and was tempted. Is this on the way, or shall I be impulsive the next time I have a 30% -off coupon from Borders?